Atleast he has Everquest.

Walter39: I woke up in a ditch last night
Walter39: Not sure why
Walter39: Family left me, i cant afford pants
Walter39: But on a plus note, I finally won master status at Everquest

http://bash.org/?8734 

"Out of courtesy"

<meta> blegh
<meta> the internet is bad
<meta> bad bad bad
<meta> I tried to talk to a woman
<meta> but she sent me nude pics instead
<meta> I didn't want them
<meta> but I took them out of courtesy

http://bash.org/?8100 

Details.

<cgirl> Wouldn't it suck to find a dead body
<InCDeathmeister> male or female?

http://bash.org/?57059 

READ THE LABEL

<Podex> Hey Aboshi, I'm cooking some ramen right now
<Podex> OH SHIT STIR OCCASIONALLY

http://bash.org/?11604 

Eat the damn brownies.

<Ryft> I made some brownies... want one?
<bnyfoofoo> you baked?
<Ryft> No, are you?

 http://bash.org/?246123

Assumptions

* Kederaji is now officially offended by the Red Cross.
<FraX> How much blood did they want today?
<Kederaji> Well, you know that questionnaire they ask you before they poke you with the needle?
<FraX> Yeah.
<Kederaji> Well, the guy took a look at me and started marking all the sex related questions as "No".
<Kederaji> Didn't even bother to ask me, just marked them "No."
<Kederaji> The bastard.
<FraX> Was he right?
<Kederaji> He was, but that's not the point!* Kederaji is now officially offended by the Red Cross.
<FraX> How much blood did they want today?
<Kederaji> Well, you know that questionnaire they ask you before they poke you with the needle?
<FraX> Yeah.
<Kederaji> Well, the guy took a look at me and started marking all the sex related questions as "No".
<Kederaji> Didn't even bother to ask me, just marked them "No."
<Kederaji> The bastard.
<FraX> Was he right?
<Kederaji> He was, but that's not the point!

http://bash.org/?507131 

I wouldn't count on it.

<intuit> hmm maybe sumtime next week i will go outside

http://bash.org/?4901

Sounds like a typical Windows user experience

<|Rain|> whoa neat
<|Rain|> the windows 2000 background has a silhouette of a man jumping off a building from frustration

http://bash.org/?16045

Priorities

<Nematocyst> Christ
<Nematocyst> I have you urinate
<Nematocyst> I hate to urinate
<Nematocyst> I have to urinate
<Nematocyst> fuck
<Nematocyst> the time it took me to write that I could have peed like four times over

http://bash.org/?58131

How CD's are made

<Jigsaw> a DVD and a CD are the same thing when they're blank aren't they?
<Jarvik8> cds are made of pikachu skins

http://bash.org/?109

I always knew it.

Thin walls

<skrike> I think the people above me are having sex
<skrike> either that or they're sleeping restlessly and agreeing with each other a lot.

http://bash.org/?6562

Aftermath

<kinkos> can you use a tesla coil as a sexual toy?
<Aegis`> yah, but only once.
<kinkos> once is all i need!

http://bash.org/?167574

Overreacting

<Blaxthos> one time i misjudged my preshit feeling
<Blaxthos> ejected a log onto the kitchen floor
<Blaxthos> my girlfriend flipped the fuck out

http://bash.org/?30472

for some reason I couldn't stop laughing at this.

Troubles

<surreal> i've often wanted to drown my troubles, but i can't get my girlfriend to go swimming

http://bash.org/?245797

(on a side note, finding good quotes is fun, thanks guys for your support!)

IRC Meetings

<Khross> andy, time for the secret unix decoder handshake.
* andy sodomizes Khross
* Khross orgasms
<Khross> Okay, we can start the meeting.

http://bash.org/?4479 

Funny jokes

<JerryBeep> There are two kinds of jokes in the world:  Jokes that people respond to by saying "lol" and funny jokes.
<melipompous> lol
<JerryBeep> You bastard.

http://bash.org/?38284

Bringing a knife to a penis fight

<Tony> I challenge you to a duel.
<Tony> Penises, at dawn.
<Beerman> but battling against an unarmed opponent is so unfair

http://bash.org/?41599 

Being grumpy

<tatsumi> There's a difference between being grumpy and hating every little fucker in existence.

http://bash.org/?4478 

Planning

<Boogieman> and I saw a girl and was like "hey baby, you lookin' for a good time"
<Boogieman> and she said "yes"
<Boogieman> and I just sorta stared
<Boogieman> cause I don't usually get that far
<Boogieman> and I didn't have anything to say

http://bash.org/?60291 

Virginity Accident

<dekk> your mom lost her virginity in a penis accident
<[b&]shoez> i lost my penis in a virginity accident

http://bash.org/?167081

Re-runs

<lan_rover> i hate reruns.
<DAL9000> as do i
<lan_rover> i wish the tv stations would just say: "We're sorry.. we have nothing new to show you.. so please go do something productive."

http://bash.org/?3334 

Time Machines

<kubba> it's ok to blow a deadline inventing a time machine, because you can always go back and invent it on budget

 http://bash.org/?6019

For a good time

<VillainSede> I've always wanted to be on the receiving end of necrophilia. Even in death I'd be getting some
<VillainSede> I want a shovel attached to my tombstone with the inscription "For a good time, dig"

http://bash.org/?1631

Meta Fight

<Donut[AFK]> HEY EURAKARTE

<Donut[AFK]> INSULT

<Eurakarte> RETORT

<Donut[AFK]> COUNTER-RETORT

<Eurakarte> QUESTIONING OF SEXUAL PREFERENCE

<Donut[AFK]> SUGGESTION TO SHUT THE FUCK UP

<Eurakarte> NOTATION THAT YOU CREATE A VACUUM

<Donut[AFK]> RIPOSTE

<Donut[AFK]> ADDON RIPOSTE

<Eurakarte> COUNTER-RIPOSTE

<Donut[AFK]> COUNTER-COUNTER RIPOSTE

<Eurakarte> NONSENSICAL STATEMENT INVOLVING PLANKTON

<Miles_Prower> RESPONSE TO RANDOM STATEMENT AND THREAT TO BAN OPPOSING SIDES

<Eurakarte> WORDS OF PRAISE FOR FISHFOOD

<Miles_Prower> ACKNOWLEDGEMENT AND ACCEPTENCE OF TERMS

http://bash.org/?23396

1 Bash quote a day

Hey guys, I'm going to be doing 1 random quote from bash.org every day. The cream of the crop. Good for a laugh, or to waste time at the office. Happy reading!